garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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