someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
