So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
