i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize