well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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