remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
