whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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