Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
