I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
