doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
