Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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