hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
