bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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