Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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