The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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