Already got asked if we're dating
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
