Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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