I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
