i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
