I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize