did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
