He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
smell my finger.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
