It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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