it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
