Just fell off a train. Bad.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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