I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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