I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
