Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
