Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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