i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i already hear my dad disowning me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
