he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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