So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
