Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
