Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
