Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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