I accidentally had phone sex last night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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