I didn't shave. On purpose
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
