Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
my being single is dangerous.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
