I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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