and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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