She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
