Are we in a gay sports bar?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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