I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
