who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The air was thick with penises
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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