she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize