Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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(404): View more from Georgia

last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.

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(515): View more from Iowa

just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow

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(904): View more from Florida

hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

you had me at cake vodka

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(812): View more from Indiana

On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.

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(585): View more from New York

I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.

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