so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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