no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
