D3 body, D1 cock
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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