if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
