why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I just sharted jello shots
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