You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
