The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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