I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
