You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
