look no pants
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
