I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
