watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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