Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
