Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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