I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
