ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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