im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
